Tag Archive for: Henderson County

Bitterness & Joy

A Phenomenal Mirror – Lesson 14 of the “Overcome” Christian Recovery Curriculum

Let’s jump right in and rip the band-aid off, shall we?  Can you trust your heart to lead you correctly in every decision life may throw at you?  How do you know your answer to this question is truthful and accurate? The simple answer to both questions:  you can’t. The heart is responsible for many things that are wonderful; poetry, love songs, weddings. As well as many things that are horrible; jealousy, divorce and murder.  The spiritual heart, as it turns out, is a phenomenal mirror that reflects the inside of the person of whom it dwells within. Follow along in this lesson of the “Overcome” Christian recovery curriculum to learn more.

We will use a fundamental engineering maxim and an analogy to illustrate this concept of form following function.  Imagine a plain water bottle. It’s intended function, its purpose is to act as a container for liquids, specifically for water.  That is its main function. While in a pinch, it may make a useful funnel when you are stuck on the side of the road and need to add oil to your car, or it can even hold pre-mixed pancake batter on a camping trip.  But by and large it best serves its purpose as a container for water, regardless of its form.  

So, with that basic premise, how is a water bottle and a 55-gallon drum any different in function?  One major piece we took for granted, the ease of use. At times it is easy to focus on the forest and miss the trees.  Some pieces of knowledge we take for granted and never really question why we have those beliefs and where did they come from?  And even more poignant, what function does it serve? Our spiritual hearts are much the same. We know it is there and we know what it is supposed to do, but don’t really know what questions we need to ask for it to reach its full potential, as God designed it.

Our application tonight will be a reiteration of a previous application and for some it will be the single hardest thing they will ever have to give up in their entire life.  So, trust me when I say this isn’t going to be easy. It is one thing to cover bitterness when life is good. It is a completely different subject when you have just been reminded of why you are bitter to begin with.  It is a strange animal when you can’t see God because of the storm that has surrounded you and you have to rely on your faith that He is who He says He is.

A Relational Heart Disease

The Hebrew word for heart translates to the inner man, the mind, the will.  It is the same idea for the Greek word that Jesus uses in Luke 12:34, which translates to the thoughts or feelings.  So, if we take this metaphysical concept for the heart, it is the central part of us that is responsible for generating much of who we are, how we perceive life and what we do with life.  The heart was created to generate compassion, mercy, care and love, not hate and strife. It was created to house the spirit. And what’s more, we are completely incapable of judging another person’s heart.  Only God is able to discern what is within the heart. This truth makes the next set of observations all the more complicated.

Since bitterness is a relational heart disease, it just doesn’t manifest on its own.  When our spiritual heart is diseased it is no longer capable of guiding us and we become more reactionary in our decisions.  What may be a feeling of love today can just as easily become hate tomorrow. The heart is equipped to evolve and mutate based on what we feed it; projected expectations and fulfillment from other sinners, impatience to have our demands met and inconsistent emotional reactions.  A diet based solely on these inputs results in feelings and thoughts such as:

  • Don’t these people see how much I have sacrificed and worked on this, how can they not care?  I give up.
  • I’ll show them.  They will miss me when I am gone.
  • How could you God?  Why did you allow life to turn out this way?
  • Why did I trust you?  You have hurt me for the last time.  I will never forgive you.
  • Over my dead body.
  • Hurry up, why are you so slow?

You have to understand the why, what, how of the disease to properly treat it.  In other words, what is the root cause regardless of the form it takes.  We all want to be accepted, feel important, respected by someone else.  And when those feelings aren’t met, we are hurt. We feel angry and rejected. Sometimes we get over those feelings quickly, but sometimes, dependent on the offense and the offender we may choose to wallow in our bitterness.  Wallowing results in festering and further infection. That infection is commonly called a grudge. But in actuality it is a lack of forgiveness and showing of grace, especially when the offender is a loved one.

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?

Jeremiah 17:9

In attempting to understand that which by all accounts is non-understandable, I ask you to open your bibles and interact for a moment.  Go to Jeremiah 17. Pick up at verse 5 and go through verse 8. In these verses, God is describing the folly of trusting in man. The futility of trying to find value and appreciation from other people.  Since bitterness is relational and does not operate in a vacuum, we must not act surprised when other people fail at validating us. God’s design was not built that way. We are trying to make it function in a means that was never intended.

Likewise, in our anchor verse, God also describes the folly of trusting and following one’s own heart.  As Proverbs 14:10 says, “The heart knows its own bitterness…” Why? Because it keeps a record of all the wrongs that have been done.  It keeps a tally and corresponding payment it expects. And until that payment has been made, it accrues interest, making it a debt that can never be paid.

However, in verses 7 and 8, God describes what it is like to trust in Him, to joy.  Joy is not happiness. Happiness is based on circumstances and situations. Joy is not based on your bank account or how much your spouse approves of you.  Joy is a peace, a contentment, an ease of the soul. It is always in development and isn’t dependent on the world to sustain it. It is a confidence in God being who He says He is, in control and not subject to changing His mind like we are.  Joy is found in Jesus and it is a peace that guards your heart:

These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.

John 15:11

And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:7

“Overcome” Christian Recovery Curriculum
Application – The example has been given

There are many moments in recovery and your walk with God that make absolutely no sense in the temporal realm of the day to day steps.  As we progress down that road, the truth never changes, but our understanding should expand and evolve as we are stretched through faith, obedience, experience and introspection; vital components needed to take our next step in this lesson.  Begin with the following question:

What has robbed you of your joy?

During this time of introspection, pay close attention to your heart as offenses are brought up.  This is a good first step at learning how to discern your heart. Do you find yourself justifying feelings or emotional reactions to past hurts?  Do you find yourself speeding past certain memories of events? Do you find yourself eager to do what you can to repair the relationship? The answers to the questions are a good reflection of the temperature of your heart.  

What we are attempting to do, on a much smaller scale is to model the same forgiveness Jesus showed to us on the cross.  He was willing to die to cover our wrongs. He was willing to die to reconcile us to an eternity with Him in heaven. He was willing to lay aside whatever debt and pay it on our behalf, all because the relationship was that important to Him.  He chose to forgive. We must also choose to forgive.

The “Overcome” Christian recovery curriculum is part of the discipleship program at First Contact Ministries in Hendersonville, NC.

Did you miss the other lessons in this series? Click see the entire Overcome Christian recovery curriculum series.

We always look forward to meeting new people at our Tuesday night support group meetings at 6:30 pm, located at Mud Creek Church in Hendersonville, NC.  Our classes are designed to teach biblical principles for addiction recovery through discipleship.  Our goal is to show the love of Jesus by supporting those who need it most.

For more information or to purchase “The Resistance” by Josh Staton to use as a Christian leadership book, or curriculum for an addiction recovery class, please visit: The Resistance: Becoming A Servant Leader Through the Beatitudes Christian Leadership Book

Overcome Study Guide Lesson 5 - Anxiety and Confidence

Anxiety & Confidence

Your Own Personal Goliath – Lesson 6 of the Overcome Recovery Study Guide

Worry, doubt, panic, distress.  Quite often these symptoms are brought on by stress and are motivating factors that can actually have physical effects on our bodies, not just our minds.  Thoughts do in fact have power and many times come in the form of debilitating paralysis that can many times end in cardiac arrest or the need to self-medicate.  But the bigger question is… what do you gain from all of this worry? Follow along in this lesson of the “Overcome” recovery study guide, to find out.

What is anxiety, in your words?  Throughout this topic, I will use the words anxiety, worry and doubt interchangeably.  This is a difficult topic to define in origin and the many avenues it travels, so let’s get a fill in the blank out on the floor you can be thinking about during an analogy we are going to use in a minute.

I trust God the least with_____________ 

Anxiety is my imagination running wild, fearing the outcome, fearing the punishment and repercussions from past decisions.  But in the mind of the anxious person, anything and everything bad is possible. Many times we are vulnerable to it just by waking up.  We don’t typically look for anything good to happen. And when we worry, we lose any form of peace we had and we lose assurance because we have ceased to trust God.  Those of us who suffer from anxiety are not only damaging to ourselves, but become infectious to others, by unintendedly stealing their joy and confidence by planting seeds of doubt.

Anxiety, loss of control, holding our breath, waiting for the other shoe to drop, Weight of the world on your shoulders, sink or swim, study long study wrong, crack under the pressure.  It is urgent and requires immediate attention. And the only way we know how to deal with it is to escape and find something to take the edge off. This comes in the form of various distractions.  Not really dealing with it when it eclipses our acceptable level of worry. It no longer becomes manageable and starts to manifest physically within us.

An Analogy

Open your bibles to 1 Samuel 17.  We are going to look at one of the more famous accounts in the bible.  In this story we have a scene that is developing, and I want to draw a parallel to a few points of it as it relates to our topic for this post.

Goliath was a Philistine champion, who was a monstrous man.  In other words, he was a massive problem for the Israelites. He intimidated them and challenged them.  In his challenge he even gave them a reward for victory and a penalty for failure. For forty days he continued to taunt and challenge them, but the Israelites were afraid and paralytic. Until a little boy named David approached the king with a proposition.  Keep this in mind, we will return to it a little later.

Origin

In a section (Matthew 6:25-34) of the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus teaches about anger, lust, prayer, money, criticizing others and worry.  This sermon would be the first mass teaching Jesus engaged in. So many nuggets can be found in this sermon for daily living, which affects not only our spiritual lives but also our eternity.

And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?

Matt 6:27

For this verse of scripture, I want to do a word study on the word anxious.  In the KJV, the phrase taking thought is used instead of anxious.  If we go to Strong’s Concordance and trace back the phrase taking thought to its origin, you get many words that all point to the idea of distraction and doubt.  The way I interpret this is simply worry will not produce anything useful.

Anxiety and confidence are rhythms or cadences we get into.  Doubt and confidence are questions of trust and responsibility.  And I would be remiss, if I didn’t at least acknowledge there is a measure of anxiety bred into us from our original parents.

And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. But the Lord God called to the man and said to him, “Where are you?” And he said, “I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself.”

Genesis 3:8-‬10‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬

“Overcome” Recovery Study Guide
Application – Appraise and Assign

For our application, I want you to draw a simple graph, like the one below.  We are going to use this as a visual layout for a logical assessment. In the graphic below, I have started you off with somewhat of a head-start just to get the ball rolling.

To diagnose anxiety, we have 4 questions that must be asked:

  1.  Is this something I am responsible for?  Am I doing things that are actively increasing my level of anxiety; poor financial choices, known and habitual sin?
  2. Or is this something I am not responsible for?  Is this a question of another’s decisions or something outside of my control?
  3. Is this a possible concern?  This is typically considered invalid in the world of logic.  I could win the lottery…
  4. Or is this a probable concern?  These are considered valid.  …but it’s not probable that I would win the lottery.

Do you trust God in all things?  Do you trust God to keep the sun shining, to keep the earth spinning, to wake you in the morning, to place breath in your lungs?  Do you trust Jesus when he said he was leaving for a period of time to prepare a place for us? Do you trust him with the big stuff and the little stuff? If you do, then have confidence that he is looking out for you in all things.  We have to give up ownership of what we are worrying about.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6-‬7

‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬We will close out this post by finishing up the beginning story in Samuel.  Ask yourself, what is your goliath? Is it probable and valid? Is it something you have created and need to take some steps to reconcile?  Do you need to confess and repent from those decisions? If you have answered yes to any of these questions, then take action as David did in the below verses: step with a singularity of purpose with no hesitation, but instead confidence.

When the Philistine arose and came and drew near to meet David, David ran quickly toward the battle line to meet the Philistine. And David put his hand in his bag and took out a stone and slung it and struck the Philistine on his forehead. The stone sank into his forehead, and he fell on his face to the ground.

1 Samuel 17:48-‬49

‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬The “Overcome” Recovery Study Guide is part of the discipleship program at First Contact Ministries in Hendersonville, NC.

Did you miss the other lessons in this series? Click see the entire Overcome Recovery Study Guide series.

We always look forward to meeting new people at our Tuesday night support group meetings at 6:30 pm, located at Mud Creek Church in Hendersonville, NC.  Our classes are designed to teach biblical principles for addiction recovery through discipleship.  Our goal is to show the love of Jesus by supporting those who need it most.

For more information or to purchase “The Resistance” by Josh Staton to use as a Christian leadership book, or curriculum for an addiction recovery class, please visit: The Resistance: Becoming A Servant Leader Through the Beatitudes Christian Leadership Book

"The Resistance" Beatitudes Study Guide by Joshua Staton
"The Resistance" Beatitudes Study Guide by Joshua Staton

Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.

Matthew 5:7

“The Resistance” Beatitudes Study Guide Lesson 5: Compassion for Those We Lead

To be merciful is to show forgiveness and restraint even when it is within your power to punish.  A Godly leader expresses forgiveness with the intention of building up and restoring those who have failed, based on the grace God first showed us.  Our demonstrations in this area will determine how others view us as leaders and set the tone (good or bad) for all future interactions.

Below are two leadership styles which produce equally horrible results:

  1. Compliance (All law) focuses solely on punishment and does not promote growth.  A leader that operates in this fashion will only achieve resentful results, as well as having to uncover landmines from mistakes that were hidden due to unrealistic expectations and fear.  Leaders who exhibit a lack of forgiveness towards those in their stewardship will never experience true loyalty.
  • Complacency (All grace) does not produce responsibility or accountability, nor does it encourage effort or growth.  The danger here is backsliding when you are viewed as a buddy.  Leaders who choose to dwell here are not able to produce positive results which means fewer victories.

Trying to marry these two qualities seems almost like a magic trick, a delicate balance that only a few have managed to achieve and even fewer have maintained.  We are not expected to perform this miracle alone and within our own power.  The best we could hope to achieve would be a couple of hours or even minutes under ideal conditions and everyone was having a great day.  Just imagine how difficult it would be when everything is falling apart…

Application

We have to understand that those we lead are humans and are going to fall short of expectations at times.  We have to take responsibility when those we lead fall and teach them how to stand back up and learn from their mistakes and recover.  We have to learn how to exhibit law and grace at the same time.

The way we do this is to be reminded of just how much God has forgiven us.  And if you do not feel you have had to be forgiven much along your journey, I ask that you re-examine the validity of your perception of yourself…

Our proclivity as sinners is to develop memory loss after we have sinned and asked forgiveness.  We wipe our own slate clean and seem to forget that Christ had to die to pay our debt.  That same payment was not only made on your behalf, one time in middle school when you cheated on a test.  To exhibit mercy truly, we must be aware of our own deficiencies.  This allows us to show that same grace to others.

Character in Action (Beatitudes Study Guide Homework)

Read Luke 6:37-38 and discuss the following questions.

  • If the golden rule was to be enforced at this very moment, would you be worried?
  • What is the biggest sin you can think of that you are grateful that God has forgiven you for?
  • Is unforgiveness sabotaging your efforts in your selected area?  Who do you need to forgive and why?

Prayer

Holy Father in heaven, only You know the hearts of everyone, even when we do not even know the heart of ourselves.  I humbly ask that you forgive us for our unforgiveness of others even when they do not ask for it.  We thank You for paying our debt, while we were still sinners, a debt that we could not pay.  Please give us hearts to show those around us Your grace that they may draw near to You.  In Your Son’s holy name, amen.

For more information or to purchase The Resistance, please visit:

The Resistance: Becoming A Servant Leader Through the Beatitudes Book

If you are in the Hendersonville, NC area, join us for an addiction recovery class. Click for more information on attending a First Contact Ministries support group for individuals or families struggling with addiction issues.

Did you miss the other lessons? Click see the entire Resistance: Becoming a Servant Leader through the Beatitudes Study Guide.

"The Resistance" Beatitudes Bible Study by Joshua Staton
"The Resistance" Beatitudes Bible Study by Joshua Staton

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.

Matthew 5:6

“The Resistance” Beatitudes Bible Study Lesson 4: Priority and Passion

We began this Beatitudes Bible study series with an acknowledgement of our weakness in a specific area.  This acknowledgement is a critical first step for growth to occur.  However, it is not enough to just be aware of weakness, we have to be willing to act.  The want must become strong enough to do something about it.  This week we address our motivation and intended outcome of our objective using an illustration of a boat. 

Hunger and thirst are to crave and seek with an eager desire.  This describes what produces our passion, it generates locomotion similar to using an oar to paddle a boat.

Righteousness is a condition acceptable to God, correctness of thinking, feeling and acting.  This gives us direction for the utilization of locomotion, in other words it is our rudder and it is how we steer.  Jesus modeled righteousness for us and how we are to seek, rightly.

Satisfied (filled) is to supply in abundance, to fulfill the desire of; the reason for the journey.  Knowing where we are going is key to making the journey and effort all the more worthwhile.  It puts current events in better perspective when we look at them regardless of the circumstances.

An easy exercise to demonstrate what may be a priority for us, is to imagine one-by-one, certain areas of your life are removed until you only have one area left for the rest of your life to focus on.  Spend some time thinking about this going into our homework for this week.

Application

As leaders, this verse addresses the oars and rudders on our boats.  It is what drives you and also gives you direction in life.  Being a human creature, we are going to hunger and thirst for something.  This passion will dictate our priorities, sacrifices and investments in life and will ultimately be what leaves us feeling empty or satisfied at the end of the day whether we have success or failure.

At times obedience is similar to the drudgery of rowing a boat, the daily grind.  The dry seasons.  The desert.  These are the very circumstances that we are to seek God during.  At some point, we have to allow God room to operate and convert our oars of mere obedience to sails of passion for God’s righteousness to lead us through these weak areas.

For us to develop a proper passion, we have to acknowledge what we are thirsting for and be willing to exchange it for seeking what God has for us.  And for that to happen, we have to ask some serious questions and identify some actions that may generate some pain and discomfort, even nausea…

Character in Action

Read and memorize Matthew 6:33 and Luke 12:34 and answer the following questions.

  • Practice the previously mentioned exercise by listing areas of your life that would be removed.  What would be the first area you would be willing to give up? (Least important)
  • What would be the last area you would be willing to lose? (Most important)
  • Does your life currently reflect these priorities?  If not, what needs to happen?

Prayer

Dear Heavenly Father, we know that Your ways are not our ways and that You are greater than we are.  You do not have a beginning nor an end.  Please forgive us for the amount of time and energy we dedicate to activities that do not build up Your kingdom here on earth.  We are thankful that You know all things and know what is best for us.  Please help us become more like Your Son Jesus and seek You with earnest!  In Your Son’s holy name, Amen.

For more information or to purchase “The Resistance” by Josh Staton to use as a Beatitudes Bible study, or curriculum for a Sunday school class, please visit:

The Resistance: Becoming A Servant Leader Through the Beatitudes Book

If you are in the Hendersonville, NC area, join us for an addiction recovery class. Click for more information on attending a First Contact Ministries support group for individuals or families struggling with addiction issues.

Did you miss the other lessons? Click see the entire Resistance: Becoming a Servant Leader through the Beatitudes Biblical Leadership Series.