Recently, local radio station WHKP conducted an interview with former First Contact Peer & Discipleship Director, Josh Staton, regarding the release of his new book “Overcome: Biblical Responses to Destructive Reactions“. The book, currently available on Amazon, is a leader’s edition, complete with handouts and teachers notes, and is ideal for a group study in a Sunday school class or support group. Josh developed this study while serving at First Contact, where the class materials are being used as an introductory level of support for individuals struggling with addiction. Josh has recently started a publishing company, Cabin in the Woods Publishers, in Hendersonville, NC. Congratulations, Josh! Well done!
Listen to the audio interview with Josh Staton here.
Identity Crisis – Lesson 2 of the “Overcome” Addiction Recovery Study Guide
To whom do we look to give us our self-worth? For some of us it may be our family and for others it may be their job. Relationships, professions and possessions will ultimately fail to satisfy our need for acceptance. With an inaccurate view of ourselves and our importance, we often do things we really don’t want to in efforts to obtain love and the feeling of security.
Rejection is a rather sensitive subject and must be handled accordingly, just like plutonium. To put it quite bluntly, as a doctor, I have horrible bedside manner. Sometimes I tell people they have to get over things. But in this case, this isn’t something that you can get over or go around. You can’t expect it to go away and not affect life anymore. The only way is through it. Ignoring it and trying to bury it will only disguise it. Our actions and thoughts will always undermine our intentions if we do not acknowledge the block and deal with it head-on.
The Security of our Identity
Succinctly, rejection and acceptance are ultimately questions of the security of our identity. The answer lurks in what we value, what we are willing to sacrifice for and what we find our personal worth in. and the easiest way to find this out is by filling in the blank below:
__________ gives me a sense of worth.
This topic is my personal issue. This drives my want to isolate. This affects me daily, but it was only after I became aware of it, I saw how much it has affected me. Much of what I did was to be accepted by the worlds’ standards, by other humans and I learned it because of rejection at home in childhood. That’s why it is so important to acknowledge it and address it before we reproduce it as adults. Rejection leads us to look other places to be fulfilled, and that is usually the wrong thing.
We have a worldly identity and a Godly identity, and we are building one or the other. Period. There is almost always a gap between these two and depending on the circumstance, most of us lean one way or the other. The further we lean to one, the more acceptance we have from that one and rejection we feel from the other. Rejection is far reaching and entrenching. Rejection will undermine progress, motivation and purpose in your life. Rejection breeds rejection. It’s like a virus, and it is generational.
Name Tags
First, write down the first three questions that come to mind that you would ask during a casual conversation to get to know them better. This should be easier than the following question.
Next, write down three questions you wish someone would ask you during that same type of conversation. Little trickier, isn’t it?
Some people are great at dialoging even with a complete stranger. Whether or not we want to admit it, we are judging and assigning value to others, the problem is we usually do this subconsciously by assigning worth to what they value; are they similar to me, do I want to know more about them or move on. We label them.
Speaking of labels, what labels has the world given you in the past? What were you known for? Spend some time and think about this exercise. Write them down, we are going to come back to them in a minute. When we attach labels, consciously or unconsciously, we are judging and assigning value, even to ourselves, especially when we get rejected because of the grimy and gritty past.
Jesus’s promise
To fully understand the context of this scripture, I encourage you to read the entirety of John chapter 6. But here is the build-up: Jesus has fed 5000 and performed many miracles. He is promising to not only take care of their earthly needs, but their spiritual and eternal needs. The crowd is festive and loving Him and ready to make Him king…
All that the father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never cast out.
John 6:37
Notice the first word in verse 6:37- All. Many people adopt the false reality that they have to clean themselves up before coming to Christ. That’s not how it works… Jesus knows all the grime and grit already. Jesus will always be there to not only accept you, but to repair you, to equip you. He doesn’t call us to clean ourselves up before we come to Him. He calls us as we are, not based on our works but His work.
Rejection of Jesus
Picking back up where we left off, Jesus has fed a couple thousand people, and departed to the other side of the sea. The very next day, they see Him on the other side and rush across the water to Him. However, He draws a line in the sand by saying that no one can come to the father but by Him, whom the Father has sent. And before too long, the entire scene changes…
He calls them out for only wanting what they can get from Him. By the end of John 6, many of the ones looking to get something from Jesus would turn their back on Him and no longer follow. This rejection is coming from a group, from the public; ones who really didn’t know or understand Him. They came to Him for miracles, to be healed and fed, but that was all they wanted. They were only accepting Him because of His works and what He did for them, it wasn’t based on their belief. A rejection that was prophesied:
He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief; and as one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not.
Isaiah 53:3
Overcome Addiction Recovery Study Guide Application – Adopting a New Label
Earlier I asked you to list out the labels the world has given you. Those are the choices that Jesus died for, to bring us back into a right relationship with the father. Our acceptance from Jesus is not based on works, but belief. It is not based on performance or possessions, but faith. Jesus’ acceptance is not like waiting on a raise at work that never comes or approval from a spouse or being asked to join some club. It is the belief that Jesus is who He said He is. Think about what we have discussed and look at your list again. I want you to notice one more word in our verse of John 6:37. The word – whoever. Now, I want you to mark through each one of those labels the world has given you and write beside it whoever. Trust in the words All and whoever. John 6:37 is a beautiful promise and proclamation that you are unique, a special part of God’s plan here on Earth, for your sphere of influence, that He “will never cast out.” You are worth the price He paid on the cross because of His great love for you.
The “Overcome” Addiction Recovery Study Guide is part of the discipleship program at First Contact Ministries in Hendersonville, NC.
We always look forward to meeting new people at our Tuesday night support group meetings at 6:30 pm, located at Mud Creek Church in Hendersonville, NC. Our classes are designed to teach biblical principles for addiction recovery through discipleship. Our goal is to show the love of Jesus by supporting those who need it most.
Introduction to “Overcome” Addiction Recovery Bible Study
About the Author – Joshua Staton
The hardest battle I fight when writing is determining what to say and what not to say. I sit at this table, engaging in the perpetual war of words and how they combine together to form thoughts. In the midst of this current literary struggle, I am reminded of a time not too long ago when I found myself fighting a battle, whose outcome would result in either suicide or redemption. I was not a Christ follower the first 32 years of my life. In fact, I was proud to call myself an atheist. In my early teens I began self-medicating with alcohol to numb the pain of life, which began a destructive progression into various other drugs and lifestyles that required pain killers in the morning and pharmaceutical methamphetamines throughout the day just to maintain. This cycle repeated almost every day for over 18 years.
Getting sober and establishing priorities was not easy and the first year was brutal, especially when you have alienated your closest friends and family. But I believe that is where God wanted me; with nowhere to turn but to Him. Since I myself lacked support, I began to form the opinion that support groups were created for weak willed people. That, if you were serious about getting clean you would commit to it, regardless if you had someone cheering you on or not. As I said, these were my opinions; faulty and prideful. And like everything else in life, I did it the hard way.
About 3 years into my recovery, a friend of my wife mentioned that a ministry she had been volunteering with needed guys to be mentors for their substance abuse program. Not knowing any better I said yes. Fast forward a few months and the man that founded that ministry asked if I would be interested in teaching a class. I sat at this very table over Christmas break researching and designing what I thought would be a support group that even I would want to go to.
On the Subject of Addiction
I am not what people would call a compassionate person. A classically trained teacher I am not, nor do I feel properly equipped to be a leader or even a motivational speaker. I am not an expert, nor do I have plaques hanging on the wall telling of my accomplishments. I am however an observer and a writer. Truth be told, I am probably the least qualified person in this regard to write about addiction and treatment. Sadly, that does not make me any less responsible. Because unfortunately in my world, if you are aware of a piece of knowledge, you are then responsible with what you do or don’t do with that knowledge.
What I can offer are observations and analysis on life and confess where self-centered worldly logic and common sense have failed me. Not every situation or outcome is going to make sense in life. In fact, much of life doesn’t make sense. We must face the truth that we live in a fallen world corrupted by sins that we all have contributed to. Bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people. The hardworking folks of one generation get passed over for recognition, while others who back stab and do the very least always seem to get the big promotion. Still, there are children who have everything handed to them just to throw it away while other kids come from broken homes and only want someone to love and invest in them. And at the same time people win the lottery and blow it all on frivolous things while people in tiny villages die every day from diseases that could have been treated but weren’t able to because of money. Do not confuse what I am saying, I am not a socialist nor do I identify with any left or right, north or south, red or blue. My statements are not politically motivated. They are of a nature of something a little more important, they are spiritually motivated.
If you are an addict, you are going to devote your life to something. We are not like other people. I believe when properly directed, the mind of an addict has far more potential than other minds. I do not believe it is by coincidence that God has given you that potential and urge to dive in. We want to re-focus that urge. We are investments. Invested with a soul, talents and desires to realize our potential and bring glory to our Creator. But for most of us, we go our entire life without understanding what we have been given, nor what we should do with it. Without direction we soon end up lost, navigating life with faulty information and guidance from a fallen world. Tragically, we get distracted and discouraged by things that seem important or bring us temporary relief. We eventually look for anything to fill the desolation, for something to heal our pain, except that which can truly heal. Soon, everything we are using to fill our emptiness only makes the void that much larger and harder to satisfy.
While I do not know your story specifically, I do understand the human story and the stage with which it takes place on. If you are looking for things on earth to make sense or fulfill you, you are going to be disappointed. You are not the only one to experience this revelation of hopelessness. The revelation that begins with a sinking feeling you may have felt in childhood, in your teen years, in your adult years that all your hopes and dreams may not come true. That you may not be able to reconcile with that family member, that you may never get the apology you feel you deserve, that you won’t get recognized for all your hard work, that the never-ending fights with your spouse may never end, that if one more thing goes wrong you’ll be out on the street, that you are going to have to raise this kid all by yourself, that no matter how hard you try things will never get any better, that you will always carry a label, that all of the investment, the hopes, the expectations, the hard work has been for nothing, that it is better to just give up and live in the lie of hopelessness the world wants to sell you.
You are not alone.
The problem is we are looking for earthly solutions to satisfy a spiritual problem that revolves around a deficiency within our soul. Unfortunately, the longer we hold tight to the lie that the distractions will fix our deficiency, it will eventually give way to needing more and more, allowing things to get worse and worse. Complications then arise when we are unable to fathom the thought of having to do without our distractions. The mind recoils in horror at the mere mention of having to find something else that works. We take ownership of our solution but in reality, our solution now owns us. We want to believe the lie that we can find happiness and meaning on this earth in things, rather than a relationship with our Creator and Savior.
Intention
We are a hurting people. We hurt each other and we hurt ourselves. This series isn’t meant to make you feel good about bad choices, nor give you a get out of jail free card for the past. There is nothing that I can say or write that will change your mind or convince you that you may need to re-evaluate life and choices. I can speculate and try to cover as many bases as possible, but the fact of the matter is I will never be able to pinpoint exactly where things went wrong or why. We are a messy, complicated species.
What I can do is give you an understanding of what this blog series is and is not. It is not about “10 Ways to Find Happiness in Life”, or “Top 5 Life Hacks”, nor even “3 Fool-Proof Methods for Change”. It is not self-help literature or even a feel-good coming of age tale about a girl and a boy. This is about the spiritual trenches we find ourselves fighting in, day in and day out, the exhausting grind we resort to and why we have to come to the understanding that we were not created to live life by seeking to fill the deep spiritual void within ourselves by any means necessary. This only leads to the void growing into a confusing headache when it comes time to sort it all out. We have to learn how to fight in this trench by replacing the all too familiar and destructive reactions with a biblical response. We have to switch weapons.
This series is intended to confront any addictive sin that has destroyed your life or that you are on the path to destruction with. You see, you don’t always have to be in the throes of an addiction to understand that it is a sin. It is another thing that we allow and even encourage to take God’s place in our lives. That’s what sin does. This can be done with alcohol and gambling, lust and methamphetamines, anger and jealousy; anything that can create an upheaval in your life and send you down the wrong paths, leading to cataclysmic disintegration. Make no mistake, you are in a war. You will fight battles at times on this journey but, rejoice and rest in the fact that you do not have to fight alone.
We strive to educate you about reactions, encourage you to respond by engaging actively in your sobriety and walk with Christ. Because at the end of the day, we are commanded to love others and make disciples. We love others where they are, but, love them enough to not just leave them there.
Jesus called his disciples from where they were, fishing and collecting taxes. He didn’t set up “Jerusalem’s Got Talent” to find the best, brightest and most polished. Why? Because it’s not about us and what we can do, it’s about Him and what He does, which is everything. He is in the business of redeeming and re-purposing. We may have been addicts, but He has called us to a greater purpose. You see, it’s not just about getting you clean or sober, it’s not just passing a drug test, it’s not just about fire insurance, it’s about transformation.
When the unclean spirit has gone out of a person, it passes through waterless places seeking rest, but finds none. Then it says, ‘I will return to my house from which I came.’ And when it comes, it finds the house empty, swept, and put in order. Then it goes and brings with it seven other spirits more evil than itself, and they enter and dwell there, and the last state of that person is worse than the first. So also will it be with this evil generation.”
Matthew 12:43-45
If you are seeking recovery or sobriety without the Lord, you may find it. But I am a firm believer that if you are seeking Jesus, you will find recovery.
Overcome Addiction Recovery Bible Study – Origin and Present Day
The premise for Overcome is rather simple: addiction as a side effect of a much larger issue. Usually a lot of hidden issues that act as motivations for addiction, which we address in 18 topical sessions. There was no way I could be all inclusive with the motivations, if I was, the class would go on and on and on. Regardless, from research and examples in my own life, I began to see trends in emotional reactions I had resulting from circumstances and strings of situations that could have turned out much differently had I exhibited a few mature thoughts and what the bible calls wisdom and discretion. I have, however, realized I am always going to have the need to pour myself into something. Good or bad. I could choose to fight that personality flaw and live an exhausting existence mired down by restraint or give it to God and let Him transform it into something better.
The creation of the Overcome Addiction Recovery Bible study curriculum and the requirements that it needed to meet was not as simple as I would have liked. The individuals coming to this substance abuse ministry meant that there would be some that were “un-churched”, some that may not make it to every meeting, others that would come into the schedule half-way through and still others that were “tourists”. Some were catholic, while others atheist. Some fresh out of rehab, and others high, walking in off the street. As much as I would have liked to sit down and built this as a progressing class, I was not able to. Each session had to stand on its own and be flexible enough that newcomers wouldn’t be lost walking in halfway through the semester. However, in maintaining sobriety, as well as your relationship with Christ, there is one key principle: Consistently Strive, regardless of the circumstances. If you fall, get back up.
The table is a little more worn now. There is nothing particularly fancy about it. If memory serves, we bought it at a thrift store for $10 a long time ago. It is rickety and creaks when you put weight on it. The varnish has faded and there are chunks of mac and cheese that need to be chiseled off because the kids have poor aim. It has seen its fair share of use since the first battle, but the table still serves its intended purpose. I believe that everything serves a purpose, but sometimes we have to be instructed in the proper way to use it. Sometimes we use faulty methods in life just to get by instead of using correct ones to actually live by.
For more information or to purchase “The Resistance: Becoming A Servant Leader through the Beatitudes by Josh Staton (on Amazon) to use as a Christian leadership book, or curriculum for an addiction recovery class, please visit:
Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Matthew 5:10
“The Resistance” Christian Leadership Book Lesson 8: Prepare for Conflict
As we conclude our look at the
Beatitudes, I hope you have experienced progress in your defined
objective. In case you haven’t realized
it, part of the purpose of this series is learning how to set goals and
prioritize efforts to achieve those goals, but we have to be aware of our
shortcomings and measure ourselves the way God measures, by the heart.
Granted, there are going to be times
you are going to make a boneheaded mistake.
You will usually have the opportunity to work through them provided you
are humble and take responsibility. But
here, we are talking about something more serious. To be persecuted is not being done wrong
and retaliating. It is not about being
punished or corrected for sin. It is
about being treated unfairly, being oppressed, abused, harassed, hunted or
killed based on your faith in Jesus.
Persecution in this sense is an inner
resolve to stand firm and accept persecution for the right thing. It is the highest level of self-denial and if
you don’t believe in it, you will not choose to suffer for it. You have to be willing to lose popularity
points because you fear God more than you fear people. Reference 1 Samuel 15:24 for more information
on someone who didn’t fear God more.
As leaders, our every move and
decision will constantly be under the magnifying glass. Being a leader means you will have to make
tough decisions and it is of paramount importance to take time and examine our
actions before we make them and be aware that doing the right thing does not
always produce allies and cooperation.
It is much better to be hated and persecuted for taking the correct
course of action than to answer for moments of weakness and selfish motivation.
Application
Regarding your objective, what is the
difference between suffering for doing right and suffering for doing
wrong? How do you reconcile and find
solace in your decision? This answer
defines your victory or subsequent failure in your objective.
A way we can understand and apply this
verse of scripture is to remember Luke 9:23… and accept that if we are to truly
follow Jesus there will be times in our lives that we have to:
Deny ourselves & take up our cross
While this may not mean the physical
death it has meant for others, it is a call for the daily death: giving up our wants and opinions, doing
without, willing to be mocked or treated differently for doing what is right…
For the gate is narrow and the way is
hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.
Matthew
7:14
Character in Action (Christian Leadership Book Homework)
Read Acts 7 and answer the following question.
How can you resolve to do the right thing even
when it will bring discomfort, alienation or even worse?
Prayer
Dear Father in heaven, You are the creator and sustainer of our lives. You breathed Your spirit into us, that we would bring You glory. This life and the battles we go through are tiring at times and I ask that You forgive us for growing weary in the trenches and questioning Your plan for our lives. Thank You, dear Father for being our comfort in times of need and please help us adhere to the promise that there is something after this earthly life, a life with You in Your majesty. In Your Son’s holy name, we pray all of this that we would bring Your name glory and be called a “faithful steward” when that day comes. Amen.
Reflection
I hope that as you have worked through the Beatitudes, you have
seen them as somewhat of a couple of puzzle pieces that fit together in a
logical order, to create a whole, better understanding of our character. Whether we know it or not, or even
acknowledge it, so many things influence our character and most of the time,
those things go unnoticed. These things
come in the forms of people around us, characters we see on movies and
television, things we read on the internet, etc.
So many times we get distracted by other things and lose our
identity trying to be something else.
But there is always that call…
the call of the Holy Spirit for us to come back into a right
relationship with Him.
Regardless of where we are, who we are and what we struggle with,
we are loved and we have a mission within the roles we have defined throughout
this process. I leave you with one final
piece of scripture and encouragement:
And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”
Matthew 28:18-20
While in the midst of these roles, we must also be aware that we
are a Christ follower and are called to not only be a disciple, but a maker of
disciples. This is our highest calling
regardless of the role. But we can take
heart that He will be with us… always.
For more information or to purchase “The Resistance” by Josh Staton to use as a Christian leadership book, or curriculum for an addiction recovery class, please visit:
Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.
Matthew 5:7
“The Resistance” Beatitudes Study Guide Lesson 5: Compassion for Those We Lead
To be mercifulis to show
forgiveness and restraint even when it is within your power to punish. A Godly leader expresses forgiveness with the
intention of building up and restoring those who have failed, based on the
grace God first showed us. Our
demonstrations in this area will determine how others view us as leaders and
set the tone (good or bad) for all future interactions.
Below are two leadership styles which produce equally horrible
results:
Compliance (All law) focuses solely on
punishment and does not promote growth.
A leader that operates in this fashion will only achieve resentful
results, as well as having to uncover landmines from mistakes that were hidden
due to unrealistic expectations and fear.
Leaders who exhibit a lack of forgiveness towards those in their
stewardship will never experience true loyalty.
Complacency (All grace) does not
produce responsibility or accountability, nor does it encourage effort or
growth. The danger here is backsliding
when you are viewed as a buddy. Leaders
who choose to dwell here are not able to produce positive results which means
fewer victories.
Trying to marry these two qualities
seems almost like a magic trick, a delicate balance that only a few have
managed to achieve and even fewer have maintained. We are not expected to perform this miracle
alone and within our own power. The best
we could hope to achieve would be a couple of hours or even minutes under ideal
conditions and everyone was having a great day.
Just imagine how difficult it would be when everything is falling apart…
Application
We have to understand that those we
lead are humans and are going to fall short of expectations at times. We have to take responsibility when those we
lead fall and teach them how to stand back up and learn from their mistakes and
recover. We have to learn how to exhibit
law and grace at the same time.
The way we do this is to be reminded
of just how much God has forgiven us.
And if you do not feel you have had to be forgiven much along your
journey, I ask that you re-examine the validity of your perception of yourself…
Our proclivity as sinners is to
develop memory loss after we have sinned and asked forgiveness. We wipe our own slate clean and seem to
forget that Christ had to die to pay our debt.
That same payment was not only made on your behalf, one time in middle school
when you cheated on a test. To exhibit
mercy truly, we must be aware of our own deficiencies. This allows us to show that same grace to
others.
Character in Action (Beatitudes Study Guide Homework)
Read
Luke 6:37-38 and discuss the following questions.
If
the golden rule was to be enforced at this very moment, would you be worried?
What
is the biggest sin you can think of that you are grateful that God has forgiven
you for?
Is
unforgiveness sabotaging your efforts in your selected area? Who do you need to forgive and why?
Prayer
Holy Father in heaven, only You know the hearts of everyone, even when we do not even know the heart of ourselves. I humbly ask that you forgive us for our unforgiveness of others even when they do not ask for it. We thank You for paying our debt, while we were still sinners, a debt that we could not pay. Please give us hearts to show those around us Your grace that they may draw near to You. In Your Son’s holy name, amen.
For more information or to purchase The Resistance, please
visit:
